Beyond just a spring clean, it’s become a necessity because my “junk” drawer is overflowing and unfortunately with things like important documents – not just junk. As I was unearthing tax receipts and forms and mortgage statements (joy) I also came across some old magazines (weeeeeee!). So instead of doing the thing I’m supposed to (collect tax info, ugh), I started leafing through mags and drinking a cup of tea.

Of course I came across some great ideas and started ripping out pages of crafts, recipes, how to get your kids to stay in bed tricks and other gems. I realized though, in ripping out the pages, I was just creating more clutter and so thought of my poor neglected blog.

I’m going to share some of these great inspirations (from Disney’s Family Fun magazine) – partly to share, but mostly (selfishly) so I have them written down somewhere, so I can recycle the torn out papers and declutter some more.

Getting kids to stay in bed

Super easy, right? Right. We’ve been struggling with this since N started climbing out of her crib at nine months. (And it wasn’t so much climbing as it was head-first launching). Anyhow, now at two and a half, we’ve got the falling out of bed under control, but the wandering around is a tricky one. A mom suggested this: Give your kid a “hall pass” that she can use once a week to get out of bed. She even created a cute card and laminated it. I love it. I think I’d add a time limit for the pass, maybe 15 minutes. I think it’s a great idea, especially with older children.

Getting them to eat veggies and fruit

Sometimes easy. Sometimes not. So to inspire a healthy diet, there’s this chart that encourages kids to eat fruits and veg of all colours (which is a great way to sneak in a wide variety of produce, and not just stick with the typical peas and carrots….though who doesn’t love peas and carrots). It’s called, Today I Ate a Rainbow!

I found other tid bits, crafts, and I’ll definitely share more later. But I’ve procrastinated long enough and need to get out for a walk…I mean, file my taxes.

One of my new year’s goals is to be in bed (with no computer or iPhone) by 10 p.m. from January to April….unless it’s a date night.

Ooo – it’s 10:03, so I better be off.

First though – Kieran read an article the other day that said the best things you could do for yourself is: get more sleep, more sex and never let yourself get hungry. Goals I can totally embrace. And as I was stumbling around online today, I came across some other fantastic women embarking on a sleep challenge of their own - Arianna Huffington (Huffington Post) and Cindi Leive (Glamour) are going to be blogging about their attempts to get more sleep.

Get your sleep on ladies! I’m off to bed.

And after a year of nursing, walking, cuddling and rocking down – taking up to three hours – I reluctantly decided it was time to let her cry to sleep. So far, the most heart-wrenching decision I’ve made as a parent. I mean, look at her.

My little peanut. But my no-cry method resulted in bedtimes around 9:30-10. And mornings around 5. She wasn’t getting enough sleep. And I wasn’t getting enough time with Kieran at night. This of course made me feel guilty.

Is this about me? I should put her needs first. I’m her mother. I shouldn’t let her cry. What if I’m inflicting lasting psychological damage on my little darling? I’m supposed to comfort her. I can comfort her. Why shouldn’t I? I should. And so it went.

Then we’d go another late night. Another early morning. Not enough sleep for anyone.

I talked with friends. Family. Random mums + dads in the park. Everyone I spoke to who did let their babe cry, did so for about a week, maybe two and then their babies could put themselves to sleep.

Be warned: The first few nights are torture.

Monday: Nadia cried for an hour and 20 minutes before I broke and had Kieran go to her. Tuesday: I nursed her down and thanked the sleep gods for making it easy on me. Wednesday: Nursed down. Thank you. Thursday: We tried again. Nursing didn’t do it. An hour and 15 minutes of sobs. I left the house to go grocery shopping.

Friday: Her nap the next afternoon, an hour and 15 minutes. Luckily my friend (mum of three) was there to keep me strong and distract me from my thoughts of: I’m a terrible mum. I’m a terrible mum. What am I DOING!?!

Saturday: 10 minutes. WHAT?!? The following night – 2 min. SERIOUSLY!?!

It’s been a week and she now soothes herself to sleep. She hums – which is actually something she used to do when she was around four months old, but had stopped doing. She also sometimes sings and babbles to herself.

I am SO happy I did this. I had a really hard time with it at first because I partly felt I was doing it for me. Truth is. I do win in this. But so does Nadia. I want her to be able to fall asleep easily – now as a child and later in life too. It’s a skill we all learn or don’t. I’m glad she is.

I saw my future at the grocery store yesterday. A mum  - hair spilling from her ponytail – looked at me, then at her four-year-old rushing about grabbing broccoli, juice, pie (he ran through the aisles with the adeptness of a personal shopper on speed) – and said something. I’m not sure what she said. I tried really hard but couldn’t understand a word of it. Finally, I caught the tale end: “He doesn’t sleep. I thought he would grow out of it. But he hasn’t. He still doesn’t sleep.” Then off she ran. Leaving me standing there. Ready to burst into tears. Or screams. Or both.

I’m trying desperately to convince myself that Nadia will indeed grow out of her…hmmm…wakefulness. I say it’s teething. She’s a good sleeper. Really. She is. She will be. Before her fourth birthday…if not, please send drugs. For me.

If you’re a new mum you will at some point experience sleep deprivation. (New dads may too, sometimes as collateral damage and sometimes because they’re the primary care giver.)

And this sleep deprivation is not the kind you experienced in college pulling all-nighters studying then partying because the studying’s done. The kind of sleep deprivation you’ll experience (or are experiencing) is more sustained. It’s hard core. Serious sleep deprivation. The kind that can make you think you’re going crazy. (And you might be…but you’re not alone.)

So here’s what I’m doing to remain (somewhat) sane: 

• Instead of seeing my time breaking into days and nights, I’m looking at time in a new way….I now have 24 hours.

Within this timeframe I want to achieve a few basic tasks:

1. Sleep eight hours
2. Shower (optional)
3. Eat at least three meals (though for me, likely more)
4. Get out for a walk
5. Spend at least an hour on something that’s totally for me

The eight hours of sleep don’t have to be consecutive (though if they are, that’s really nice), eating doesn’t have to be gourmet or even sit down (but it does have to be delicious and mostly nutritious), the walk doesn’t have to be long, and the hour for me comes when my husband’s home or if I can arrange some childcare through a friend or another doula. Of course within these 24 hours I also take care of my daughter. 

It’s really just a change in the way I look at my time. But I find it helps if I set my expectations this way….that it’s unlikely I’ll accomplish the same amount or kinds of things I did before I was uniquely responsible for another living being. Being a mum is a monumental thing. And just because it’s done by millions of women around the world, doesn’t make what we do any less extraordinary. 

I still can and do get a lot done. But it’s different. I’m not totally in control of my schedule. And becoming ok with this (especially when I’m so tired), is for me most of the battle.

Last night I watched a movie that filled me with energy so afterwards, I decided to get some work done. I couldn’t get to sleep until past midnight. I was thinking: “Well she’s been sleeping through the night now and then, I’ll probably get at least six hours.” Nope. 

She was up every two. Now it’s morning and I’m paying for it. My eyes are burny and as my husband sweetly reminded me, I should really try to sleep when she’s sleeping. “I KNOW!!!!!” 

But when the choice is between sleep and actually getting something done, it’s just so tempting to get something done. Am I right!

I also made another terrible mistake last night. When I did get up to feed my girl, I let my mind wake up too. Bad idea. Generally I keep the lights very low and my eyes shut so that I can, at the very least, meditate and sometimes (though rarely) drift into a light snooze. Nope. 

I let my mind race to grocery lists, house chores and work I need to get done this week. 

So today….I’m going to be good to myself and if I can’t sleep while Nadia’s sleeping, I’ll at least lay down to read. I will not let my mind troll through to-do lists. I will relax. Breathe. And just maybe, fall asleep.