I wish I had a one-line cure. It doesn’t exist.
If you’re a new mum you will at some point experience sleep deprivation. (New dads may too, sometimes as collateral damage and sometimes because they’re the primary care giver.)
And this sleep deprivation is not the kind you experienced in college pulling all-nighters studying then partying because the studying’s done. The kind of sleep deprivation you’ll experience (or are experiencing) is more sustained. It’s hard core. Serious sleep deprivation. The kind that can make you think you’re going crazy. (And you might be…but you’re not alone.)
So here’s what I’m doing to remain (somewhat) sane:
- Instead of seeing my time breaking into days and nights, I’m looking at time in a new way….I now have 24 hours.
Within this timeframe I want to achieve a few basic tasks:
- Sleep eight hours
- Shower (optional)
- Eat at least three meals (though for me, likely more)
- Get out for a walk
- Spend at least an hour on something that’s totally for me
The eight hours of sleep don’t have to be consecutive (though if they are, that’s really nice), eating doesn’t have to be gourmet or even sit down (but it does have to be delicious and mostly nutritious), the walk doesn’t have to be long, and the hour for me comes when my husband’s home or if I can arrange some childcare through a friend or another doula. Of course within these 24 hours I also take care of my daughter.
It’s really just a change in the way I look at my time. But I find it helps if I set my expectations this way….that it’s unlikely I’ll accomplish the same amount or kinds of things I did before I was uniquely responsible for another living being. Being a mum is a monumental thing. And just because it’s done by millions of women around the world, doesn’t make what we do any less extraordinary.
I still can and do get a lot done. But it’s different. I’m not totally in control of my schedule. And becoming ok with this (especially when I’m so tired), is for me most of the battle.
